


July

by 1destielplease



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Everyone can play like five instruments, HyungHyuk - Freeform, M/M, Oblivious hyunghyuk, Slow Build, Smoking, a lil angst, as slow and it can get in a short one shot, how to tag?, indie band, manager and best friend kihyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-29 00:57:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17193476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1destielplease/pseuds/1destielplease
Summary: How many guys does Hyungwon have to sleep with for Minhyuk to finally confess he loves him?How many songs does Minhyuk have to write about Hyungwon  for Hyungwon to finally realize they’re about him.An AU where Minhyuk and Hyungwon are in an indie band together, Minhyuk as the bassist and Hyungwon as the main singer.





	July

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I got this idea by Lucy dacus’ song “Addictions” please take a listen to it! It’s very good

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _Forget your current lover._

 

Minhyuk put his bass down and grabbed a water bottle from the mini fridge in their hotel room. He downed the bottle in just a few seconds. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, he grabbed another water bottle and tossed it at Shownu who had just walked into the room with their manager, Kihyun. 

 

“You gonna wash up?” Kihyun asked while typing away on his phone.

 

“Yup. I’m especially gross today” Minhyuk replied.

 

”It’s a humid city.”

 

“Gotta love Miami” Shownu said with a low chuckle. He sat down on the bed, Kihyun trying to get him off saying he should shower first because he was dirty. 

 

“Are you going out tonight?” Minhyuk said. He took off his shirt and threw it at Shownu’s face who made a face of disgust and threw it on the floor with a yelp. 

 

“Yeah, we’re going to go get drinks.”

 

”... do you know if Hyungwon is going to go?” Minhyuk asked almost quietly. It didn’t go unnoticed by Kihyun, Shownu however, was oblivious as always. 

 

“Of course he’s coming! He said he wants to get laid tonight since it’s our last night in Miami. Typical” Shownu said. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number. 

 

“Oh. I’m going to stay, I’m really tired” Minhyuk said. Kihyun gave him a look but nodded. It couldn’t be easy seeing the person you love about to fuck someone else. 

 

“I’ll see y’all later. Have fun” he said while disappearing into the bathroom leaving Shownu and Kihyun alone in his and Hyungwon’s room.

 

”What was that about?” Shownu question. Kihyun shrugged and made him get off the bed and pushed him out to their own room so he could shower. 

 

In the shower, Minhyuk frown and turned on the faucet. He put his fingers under the running water and sighed. 

 

Minhyuk and Hyungwon have known each other since they were practically in diapers. They’ve been there for each other whenever they needed a shoulder to cry on. Hyungwon was Minhyuk’s best friend but... Minhyuk wanted more. 

 

_Remember me? That one July._

 

Minhyuk shook his head and got in the shower, enjoying the hot water that ran down his body and rinsed the dirt off his sore body. 

 

Minhyuk didn't want it to happen. He didn’t want to fall in love with his best friend. He knew Hyungwon would never look at him the way Minhyuk looked at him. It just happened, he couldn’t stop it from happening. One minute he was writing songs on his guitar and the next thing Hyungwon sat next to him singing the lyrics Minhyuk wrote. His voice beautifully echoing Minhyuk’s shitty apartment. Every note he sang, every word that came out of his mouth wrapped around Minhyuk’s heart instantly. He stared at Hyungwon in amazement and Hyungwon blushed from all the compliments. 

 

That was the start. How silly. He fell in love with his best friends’ voice before falling in love with all of him.

 

He couldn’t stop. Minhyuk was suddenly falling for everything Hyungwon had to offer. His love for food, his perfectly dye pink hair that made him look like some kind of spring prince, his big round glasses that helped him see when he wasn’t wearing his colored contact lenses. 

 

Minhyuks favorite thing abkut Hyungwon was his ability to love others. Hyungwon fell hard and fast. Maybe that’s why he turned out the way he is.

 

Now, Hyungwon is almost cold to his lovers. His relationships never lasted more than a couple months. Hyungwon really changed as a person when he got his heart broken by Lee Jooheon. 

 

It wasnt Jooheon’s fault that he fell out of love with Hyungwon but when he tried to explain to Hyungwon how he felt, he broke down in tears. They broke up that same day, leaving Minhyuk with a sobbing Hyungwon. He remembers turning on a movie and laying Hyungwon down on the couch with him. His arm was around him and Hyungwon’s face was pressed against his chest. Minhyuk remembers. Ignoring the way his heart pounded and hoped Hyungwon couldn’t feel it. They slept that way.

 

Their Indie band had really helped both Both of them. It helped Minhyuk express his feelings lyrically, he was not only the bassist and backup singer but also the bands songwriter.  

 

Hyungwon learned to cope with his emotions. He tried not to love anyone anymore. He only kept people to mess around with them. He was cold to everyone around him except his own band. And he was especially a little sweeter to Minhyuk than he was to everyone else. 

 

Minhyuk’s thoughts were interrupted when he heard someone open the door to the bathroom. He could feel the cold from their air conditioned room come in and it made him shiver.

 

”Hey Hyuk, mind if I shower with you? I got a hot date tonight but I’m running late.”

 

”Why don’t you just shower in Shownu and Kihyun’s room?” Minhyuk asked. He poked his head out to see Hyungwon who was now undressing.

 

”Hey! I didn’t say you could-“

 

”Shownu is showering right now. Besides, I’ve showered with you before. I would totally rather see your cute butt then Shownu’s” Hyungwon grinned while taking off his boxers. Minhyuk went back to showering, focusing on trying not to pop an unwanted boner. 

 

What can he say? As much as he was soft for his best friend he also wanted to be choked by those long fingers- and.... okay, Minhyuk definitely should calm down.

 

”Who are you picking up this time?” Minhyuk asked. He put some shampoo on his hand and began massaging his head. 

 

Just a really hot guy named Hoseok. He’s going to meet me at the bar later. Speaking of bar, you’re coming tonight, right?” Hyungwon stepped into the shower and pushed Minhyuk a little further in so he could also be under the water. 

 

“Nope. I don’t feel too well. I’d rather stay and sleep” 

 

“you said that last time... and the other time... annnd the other time when we were in-“

 

”I’m just tired, Won. Really.” Minhyuk said frustrated. He turned around to look at Hyungwon and cursed when the shampoo got in his eyes.

 

”Fuck-“

 

”Here, let me help you” Minhyuk let Hyugwon wipe his eyes with his hands and pulled him closer to his chest. 

 

Minhyuk tried his his hardest to angle his hips so they wouldn’t touch Hyungwon’s. 

 

“You’re always so clumsy, Hyuk.” Hyungwon chuckled. He massaged Minhyuk’s head and washed his hair for him.

 

Minhyuk, enjoying the gesture, leaned a little and sighed. 

 

“You work too hard. You need to take a break. Come to the bar with us, please?” When Hyungwon finished washing his hair, they traded spots. Minhyuk now scrubbing his body and Hyungwon washing his own hair. 

 

“I’d rather not, Won. You know I don’t like those things.”

 

”It’ll be fun! I promise! Please, for me?” Hyungwon opened his eyes to look at Minhyuk. He really didn’t want to go but how could he say no when Hyungwon was looking at him like that?

 

_You’ve got addictions too, it’s true._

 

Minhyuk shook his head. Even if he was looking at him like that, he didn’t want to have to see Hyungwon practically dry humping someone at the bar. It’d hurt too much.

 

”I’ve got a song in mind and I’d like to work on it before it leaves my brain” Minhyuk said. He grabbed his towel and left Hyungwon alone in the shower. 

He is not going to feel sorry for himself, he is not.

 

—-

 

“Oohoo, Tennessee! How we doing?” Hyungwon said into the mic. The crowd gave a cheer and Minhyuk smiled.

If there was something he loved more than Hyungwon it was being on stage. He loved the excitement and thrill, the adrenaline he got from hitting beautiful low bass notes and how he knew everyone could feel it in their bodies. He loved how Shownu’s drumming could be heard 50 miles away and how Hyungwon played the keyboard and sang beautifully to the crowd. 

 He loved his job.

 

He played the songs he wrote and was able to watch Hyungwon perform too? 

It was like watching the stars at night when it came to Hyungwon. He shined bright, his pink hair glistened under the stage lights. 

He moved with such grace that it left Minhyuk searching for air. This was getting out of hand.

 

”I want to introduce one of my bestest friends and our very own bassist!” Minhyuk snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the crowd cheer for him. He bowed and winked.

“Without Minhyuk, there would be no show, no band. Nothing. Thank you, Minhyuk. Thank you for helping us improve and writing our songs! They’re bops” Hyungwon said into the mic. The sudden attention to him caused him to blush and he couldn’t help but smile and laugh as the crowd chanted his name.

 

Minhyuk’s thoughts lingered on Hyungwon saying that he was his best friend. The screams for Shownu were drowned by Minhyuk’s thoughts and how he’d never be able to call Hyungwon his own.

 

That night in Tennessee, Shownu and Hyungwon went out to a bar. As usual.

 

Minhyuk stayed. As usual. Only this time, Kihyun stayed with him. They were sat outside the balcony from their shitty motel smoking a cigarette. Minhyuk normally didn’t smoke unless he was super stressed out, which was what he was at that moment.

 

“What’s wrong? Talk to me” Kihyun said. He reached to take the cigarette from Minhyuk’s mouth and started to smoke it instead. Their legs were hanging from the railing where they sat on the floor.

 

“Nothings wrong.”

 

”Stop lying. Maybe if you talk about it you’ll feel better.”

 

”I doubt it.” Right as he said that, his phone lit up signaling he had a message.

 

 

_From Hyungwon:_

_I’m taking a guy back to the motel. His name is Changkyun, super hot oh my god. He’s small but I can tell his manicured fingers are going to do wonders lol, don’t worry, I booked a different room to not disturb you. Just letting you know so you don’t wait up on me!_

_Goodnight!_

 

Minhyuk forced his eyes to look at the distance. How do you respond to that?

 

Kihyun seemed to notice Minhyuk’s sudden change of mood. He went from being upset to being annoyed and bothered. He grabbed Minhyuk’s phone to read the message, the older didn’t even stop him.

 

“Min.... are you in love with Hyungwon?” Kihyun asked carefully.

 

Minhyuk stayed silent for a while. He took the cigarette back from Kihyun and just looked at the cars that passed by.

 

“I wish I wasn’t. It’s hard to love Hyungwon. Actually, it’s hard to be loved by Hyungwon” he said simply. He rested his head against the rail and took another drag of the cigarette. He let the smoke fill up his lungs for a couple seconds longer than usual before letting the smoke fill the air between Kihyun and him.

 

”Did you know, there was a time where I thought we’d end up together. Remember last year during the summer in July, we were in Atlanta. We just finished a gig. Hyungwon told me there was something he had to show me. He took me out, I can’t remember where. He laid on the ground and told me to do the same.” Minhyuk said with familiarity in his voice.

 

“We watched the stars. He said Atlanta and Texas had the best stars in the US. We watched the stars all night, I don’t remember where we were, it wasn’t a park but it wasn’t some sketchy place either. It was late. So late, Ki” Minhyuk began swinging his legs back and forth.

 

“I don’t know how it happened but we ending up having sex. I thought-....-.. I thought it meant something. That maybe that meant we’d be together but when we finished he laughed and said he didn’t know I was that ‘good’ and acted like everything was back to normal.”

 

kihyun forwned. That sounded messed up but he knew that’s just how Hyungwon was. Besides, if he knew Minhyuk’s true feelings he’d never do anything to belittle his feelings.

 

“I want to go back to that day. Even if he didn’t not know it at the time, he made me feel special. I want to be wrapped around his arms again. Fuck, this fucking sucks.” Minhyuk laughed. He put out the cigarette and threw it.

 

“Anyway, to answer your question. Yup. I’m in love with Hyungwon.”

 

”Min.. why don’t you tell him? What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

 

”I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

 

”Bullshit. You know as well as I do that Hyungwon wouldn’t let something like this effect your friendship.”

 

”Maybe. I don’t want him to reject me. I’d hurt too much.”

 

Kihyun scooted closer to Minhyuk and rested his head on his shoulder.

 

”Doesn’t it hurt more to see Hyungwon fuck around with everyone else?” He asked.

 

”Probably. Let’s not talk about this anymore, please.”

 

Kihyun nodded and let it go. He felt bad for Minhyuk. It must hurt to see the person you love go out everyday and find someone knew to spend the night with.

 

That night Minhyuk went to his and Hyungwon’s room and he took out his phone. It was nearing two in the morning and he wasn’t sure if Hyungwon was asleep or had finished what he said he was going to do earlier. He took a chance and dialed his number.

 

After three rings, Hyungwon picked up.

 

”Hello?” He sounded wide awake and out of breath.

“Min?”

”...”

”Hello?”

 

Minhyuk hung up.

 

_Can you imagine what’s it like to be here with you now?_

 

Hyungwon didn’t call back.

 

 

—-

 

“Why’re we having a meeting?”Shownu asked. He sat down next to Kihyun who was writing something down in a notebook.

 

“Minhyuk wants to show you guys a new song that he has been working on.”

 

”Why can’t we listen to it during rehearsal? It’s so early” Hyungwon complained. He took a sip of his coffee and raised an eyebrow at Kihyun.

”Minhyuk wants to sing it.”

Shownu and Hyungwon immediately looked at Minhyuk with a surprised look.

“Wait-.. really? Min? You want to sing?” Hyungwon suddenly jumped up from his seat and got down on one knee in front of Minhyuk’s seat. He looked like he was going to propose. Shownu smiled when Minhyuk just nodded.

”Oh my god. This is going to be great. What made you decide you wanted to sing? I’ve been trying for years to have you sing the lead to a song!”

Minhyuk shrugged.

 

”I think it’s the song I wrote. It’s my favorite”

 

How many songs does Minhyuk have to write about Hyungwon for Hyungwon to realize they’re about him? 

Every song he’s written for the band was written about Hyungwon. Even the ones he’s written with him and Shownu. 

 

“Let’s listen to it, then” Hyungwon said happily. 

 

Minhyuk grabbed his bass with one hand and his notebook with the other. He pushed it forward to Hyungwon who took it and skimmed through the lyrics. He smiled, appreciating Minhyuk’s work. Oblivious, as always.

”How do you do it, Min? This is so good. I wanna know who broke your heart” he laughed and went to sit by Shownu so he could take a look at the song with him. Minhyuk laughed awkwardly and plucked a few strings from his bass to avoid Kihyun’s gaze when he finished reading the lyrics.

Shownu eyed Minhyuk suspiciously but didn’t say anything. He figured whatever Minhyuk wanted to say he said in the song anyway. 

“Alright. Minhyuk can start with the bass-line and I’ll follow up with the piano. Shownu you can adjust when you come in with the drums” Hyungwon said from behind the keyboard now. If there’s anything Hyungwon took seriously it was his music. Even though Minhyuk wrote majority of the songs, they’re equally the bands. He writes for the band not himself, even if all the songs are about his unrequited love. 

Minhyuk would start with the bass then followed by Hyungwon on the keyboard and Shownu on the drums, then they’d figure out how to piece the song together with whatever sounded best with what. Most people would think that the way they compose their music is messy but that’s how their dynamic worked best.

 

——

 

 

 

“Hey, have you seen Hyungwon? I want to ask him about the middle instrumental part of the song” Minhyuk asked Shownu who was on the couch snacking on chips.

Shownu looked up and nodded his head.

 

”Yeah, he went out with some guy named Changkyun, said he was gonna show him around.”

Minhyuk ignored the way his heart clenched in pain. 

“Oh. Okay. That’s fine, I wanted to run it by you too anyways.”

 

—-

 

They were in Atlanta for a show.

 

Minhyuk had a bit of a soft spot for the growing city and its gleaming clear stars. It reminded him of Hyungwon. 

It reminded him of both the softness he felt when Hyungwon kissed him with care and when he slowly thrusted into him at such a slow pace it was also agonizing and the pain when Hyungwon got up to leave, turning a cheek and acted like nothing happened, like he hadn’t just broken Minhyuk heart. Of course he didn’t know but that didn’t stop the ache in Minhyuk’s heart when the next day Hyungwon slept with someone else.

 

The Atlanta show was going to be special. One, the outside venue they were playing at would be able to hold four thousand people, all tickets were sold out, two, it would be Minhyuk’s first time taking lead in a song and he was nerovus.

He was nervous mostly due to the fact that Hyungwon could maybe somehow figure out it was actually about him. 

It was okay with all the other songs because Hyungwon was the one to sing them, this time, Minhyuk was going to sing. The emotion was going to be different. 

 

“You good?” Kihyun came up behind Minhyuk who was playing his bass. 

“I’m fine. Kinda sad I won’t be playing my bass.”

Kihyun smiles gently. Minhyuk was attached to his bass like a puppy was attached to its mom.

”It’s not like you haven’t played guitar live. Besides, Hyungwon’s gonna be playing your bass” Kihyun said. Minhyuk nodded and continue plucking his bass’ strings.

”I know. But I’m not only playing guitar live, I’m singing live too.”

”You always sing live.”

”Stop being a smart ass. You know what i mean.” Kihyun laughed.

 

A comfortable silence washed over them. Kihyun typing away on his phone and Minhyuk playing his bass and humming. 

 

“For what it’s worth, I really like your song.”

”Our song” Minhyuk corrected.

”Right, the bands song..”

”Our song. You included.”

”I’m not part of the band...”

”Yes you are. You’re our manager. Without you we wouldn’t be here” Even with a broken heart, Minhyuk still cared for others deeply. 

After a few minutes, Kihyun finally spoke. 

“You should tell him.”

Startled, Minhyuk looked at Kihyun with wide eyes.

”What?”

”You should tell him. He deserve to know.”

”but what if he-“

”rejects you? So be it. It’s better to get over it quickly rather than live with pain everyday. Besides, maybe this song... maybe this song can be your goodbye.” Kihyun took out a cigarette from his pocket and passed it to Minhyuk.

Minhyuk stared at it for a couple seconds before grabbing it and putting it in his mouth. Kihyun took out his lighter and lifted it to light up his cigarette. 

“Maybe you’re right.” 

“I’m a shout away if you need me. I’ll let you collect your thoughts before the show. Don’t forget, we’re on in an hour!” Kihyun said while getting up. Minhyuk groaned when he ruffled his hair. 

 

Maybe that was what Minhyuk needed. To say goodbye. Maybe after singing it he’ll have some sort of peace with it. He’ll let Hyungwon go and move on with his life. That’s what he needed to do and that’s what he’s going to do.

 

“Smoking again?” Minhyuk jumped at the sudden voice. 

“I’m stressed” he replied. Hyungwon sat on the floor with him and took his bass from his hands and started playing their new song on it.

”I can never be as good as a bass player as you but I’ll do my best for you tonight” Hyungwon said without looking up from the instrument in his hands. 

“You’re a great bass player. And piano player, and singer. You’ve got true talent, Won.” 

“Mm” he hummed.

Minhyuks heart was beating in his chest. He had to let his addiction go. 

“What are you thinking about, Minhyuk?” Hyungwon lifted his head and made eye contact with him as if to read him.

”I-I’m thinking about tonight.”

”Yeah?”

”Yeah.” 

Hyungwon kept looking at him. He leaned closer so their faces were only inches apart.

”You’d tell me if something were bothering you, right?” He said in a whisper.

Minhyuk tried not to look at his lips. 

“Y-yeah. Of course.” 

Hyugwon stayed in front of him, letting the smoke from the cigarette in Minhyuk’s mouth travel between them before nodding and getting up.

”I’m going to take your beauty here and make sure she’s in tune. Is that okay?”

”Yeah..”

Hyungwon leaned down again but this time his hand came to caress Minhyuk’s cheek. “Stop smoking. It’s bad for you” he said. His fingers trailed his cheek and to the cigarette before grabbing it from between his lips and smushing it on the ash tray that was in front of Minhyuk. 

“I’ll see you at rehearsal in thirty minutes?”

”okay.”

How could he say goodbye now?

 

 

——

 

Minhyuk had sweat rolling down his face by mid set. By the mosh pit in the crowd, Minhyuk would guess their concert was more of a rock concert than indie-rock. 

“You guys are crazy. We love it. Thank you so much for coming out and supporting us! This is our biggest crowd yet and it’s slightly overwhelming” Hyungwon said into the mic.

The crowd screamed. 

“Tonight, we’ve got something special. Our very own bass player Lee Minhyuk will be singing a song he wrote! Minhyuk, Get over here!” 

Minhyuk tried to calm his beating heart when the fans began screaming his name in excitement. He stood in front of the mic Hyungwon just used.

”Hey, I’m Lee Minhyuk. I play bass in this awesome band, thank you for letting me create music with my friends” he said with a smile. 

 

“This song is called Addictions. I wrote it with a heavy heart so please listen to it well.” 

 

Hyungwon took the bass from him and gave Minhyuk the electric guitar he was using. 

 

Addictions was a very personal and upfront song about how Minhyuk felt. They’ve rehearsed it already but it was so rushed that most of rehearsal was focused on getting the timing and beat right rather than listening to the actual words. 

Minhyuk took a breath and started singing without the instrumental. They won’t come in until after the first line.

 

**Freeze frame, tidal wave in the passenger side**

**  
I'm still a nervous kid after all this time**

 

( _Why can’t he just tell him?_ )

  
**Can you imagine what it's like to be here with you now?**

 

( _You’re right here but not how I want you to be.)_

  
**Forget your current lover, remember me that one July?**

 

_(You don’t need them. I can be whatever you need.)_

  
**Laying bareback on dirt roads, watching the planes at night**

 

_(The stars are pretty tonight. I want to lay down and stargaze with you again.)_

**  
Who knew one day it'd be so hard to have you by my side**

 

( _Just stay with me.)_

The song almost had a sort of happy rhythm but the lyrics couldn’t be more about yearning for someone who doesn’t want you back. 

Minhyuk started to strum his guitar a little more roughly to get an edgier sound. The crowd swayed from side to side and bopped their heads along to the drums. 

 

**I’m just callin cause I’m used to it**

 

**And you’ll pick up cause you’re not a quitter**

( _You always pick up_.)

**You’ve got Addictions too it’s true**

_(Your addiction is other people and mine is you.)_

**You’ve got Addictions too**

 

Minhyuk closed his eyes and let his body move to the music that they played. He could feel Hyungwon’s bass in his bones and Shownu’s drums under his feet. He could feel the guitar strings dig into his fingertips that will leave calluses later. 

 

**Here  we seek**

**Years of senseless waiting**

**You've got Addictions too, it’s true**

**You’ve got Addictions too**

 

Minhyuk sang the last line and everyone cheered. His heart was thumping harshly against his chest, he wasn’t sure if it was because of all the dancing or the nerves. 

He sang with such emotion that it was hard for everyone to forget that song. Even after the show finishes, Addictions will be on everyone’s mind because the raw emotion Minhyuk put into it won’t be forgotten. 

 

He avoid Hyungwon’s eyes and looked behind him at Shownu who gave him a thumbs up.

The rest of the night went by smoothly. Minhyuk loved being on stage. There was nothing in the world that could compare to being able to do what you love every night. When the fans sing back to them it reminds Minhyuk how much their hard work pays off.

 

He has one of the loves of his life and he’s satisfied with that.  

 

——

 

Minhyuk sat outside the balcony from his hotel room. They decided they worked hard enough to actually book a nice hotel. 

Minhyuk let his eyes linger on the sky where the stars shined brighter than he’d ever seen. Atlanta really did have beautiful stars.

Shownu and Kihyun went out to get food so they could celebrate there amazing show. They’d be back soon.

Minhyuk didn’t even want to know where Hyungwon was at. Probably with a new person.

 

He took a deep breath and let the smoke fill his lungs, ruining them. He held it in for a little longer than usual causing him to cough violently. 

“Oh fuck-“ he said when he couldn’t stop. He opened his watery eyes to see a hand holding a water bottle right in front of him. Not questioning it, he grabbed the bottle and was happy to find that it settled his violent coughing fit. 

 

“I told you to stop smoking.” Minhyuk snapped his head up so fast he got a little dizzy. Hyungwon was freshly showered. Minhyuk requested to room with Kihyun today, much to everyone’s surprise.

”I can’t help it. I smoke when I’m stressed” Hyungwon sat down next to him and took the cigarette from his mouth. He stomped on it and shook his head. 

 

“I don’t want you to die. There’s other ways of releasing stress.”

 

”Like what?”

 

”Like masturbating” that got a laugh out from Minhyuk.

”You’re disgusting” he replied. Hyungwon laughed and knocked their shoulders together. 

 

“Min?” He said. He looked at Minhyuk who didn’t bother to turn to him. He was enjoying the warm night and the pretty stars.

 

”Who broke your heart?”

 

That got Minhyuk’s attention. Now was his chance. He could either say the truth or hide behind a lie for the rest of his life. 

“Why do you want to know? Maybe I watched a drama and based it off that?”

Hyungwon shook his cotton candy hair.

 

”No, you don’t just write a song based off a drama and sing it like that.” 

Minhyuk wanted to light up another cigarette. He pulled out his pack and took one out but Hyungwon took it from his hands before putting it back into the pack and stuffing it into his jacket pocket. 

“Stop smoking”

”I need it”

”Why?”

”To forget” Minhyuk’s heart was pounding. 

“About what?” He should stop. He should really stop.

”about you!”

”.... what?” He should’ve stopped. He got too frustrated. 

“Fuck” he hissed. He started to get up to leave but Hyungwon grabbed his wrist before he could go. 

“Stop running away from your problems! Tell me what’s going on! Maybe I can help.”

 

”You can’t.”

”Why not?” Hyungwon was started to get frustrated too.

 

”Because you don’t love me!” 

He shouldn’t have said anything. He should’ve made up some sob story about how some guy named Lucas broke his heart.

 

”But I do love you”

”Not in the way I want you too-... look can we just... pretend this never happened? That I never said anything?”

”How can I pretend?”

”Just do it like you did in July” Minhyuk said coldly. He wanted to sew his mouth shut. Everything that was coming out will either lead to a happy ending or a ruined friendship and a broken band. 

 

“What?”

”Look just.. leave it. Shownu and Kihyun are probably on their way and if they think we’re mad they’ll-“

”Do you love me?” That got Minhyuk to shut up. He could practically feel his heart in his throat from where it just wanted to come out of his chest. Minhyuk’s eyes traveled to Hyungwon’s before looking behind him at the sky. Hyungeon suddenly took his chin in his hand and forced him to look him in the eyes.

 

”Min, answer me. Do you love me?”

What does he have to lose?

Hyungwon’s friendship.

His band.

His life.

He’s dramatic. 

 

“Y-yes. Is that what you wanted to hear? Now can you please leave me alone, I already know you don’t feel the same way. That’s fine, let’s not make this awkward. I’ll try to get over it quickly so you can-“

”Do you ever shut up?” 

“W-what?”

”Stop talking and just listen to me for once. Who are you to tell me what I feel? You don’t know how I feel! Stop and listen some time, Minhyuk. Listen closely.” He roughly grabbed Minhyuk’s hand and placed it on his chest.

”I don’t give a damn if this is cheesy or whatever but you feel that? That’s for you! You make me crazy. I try to forget about you with other people but I can’t. I can’t cause they’re not you.” 

 

Minhyuk wanted to cry. 

 

“I’m sorry for being so oblivious but you were oblivious too. Every time I asked you to go to the bar with me was so maybe, you’ll stay by my side and I won’t have to hook up with some guy because all I need is you. Fuck Minhyuk, you need to talk to me about how you feel!” Hyungwon was heaving breaths at this point. Minhyuk had only ever seen him this frustrated when he couldn’t get a chord right on the piano or his voice was too scratchy.

 

”I wrote them for you.”

”What?”

”The songs. All the songs. I wrote them about you. It was the only way to express how I felt without directly telling you” Minhyuk felt like an idiot. He was exposing himself to the person he loved the most. 

 

Hyungwon started to laugh. Minhyuk frowned. 

“You think my feelings are funny? What the fuck.” 

Hyungwon shook his head and leaned to rest his forehead against Minhyuk’s.

”We are truly a bunch of idiots. This whole time we could’ve been together but we didn’t  see what’s right in front of us.”

 

”You really feel the same?”

”I’ve always felt the same.”

”Then prove to me that July wasn’t a mistake.”

Hyungwon grinned and brought his lips to Minhyuk’s. “I never said July was a mistake.”

 

That night, they locked the door and sent a text to Shownu and Kihyun asking them to celebrate tomorrow. They had unfinished business to discuss. And by unfinished business they meant Minhyuk riding Hyungwon until he confessed his love for him all over again. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooooo I hope you enjoyed this! I had a solid idea about an indie band au but it didn’t turn it that way. This is pretty messy by imma post it anyways cause I got this far. Anyhow, thank you for reading!


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